The Purple Cow

The following story involves Kind Rat’s experience in marching band. Inspired by my own real-life encounters, and by special request, I am proud to display a comedic exposition of what it’s like to be in a pep band, during a pretty memorable scenario. If you’re confused about who Kind Rat is and where he came from, please read my previous blog posts. Read below for the full story!

 

Kind Rat usually took everything in stride with band, but this was just too much. It was the best year ever: an anniversary of the band program, senior year, and the best season that anyone could have asked for. But now it was ending like this.


It had been raining before the football game, and it wasn’t letting up anytime soon. Kind Rat was tired, hungry, his feet hurt, and he was weighed down with a wet raincoat, uniform, and instrument. They motioned for everyone to come down from the stands.

“Oh good,” thought Kind Rat, “It’s finally time to perform!” He felt a little glimmer of hope at the prospect of performing his favorite show at the last game of the season.

‘Alright, it’s not like we’ve got all day. Walk with a purpose, people!” the leaders shouted. Turns out they were not going down to the field at all. Instead, they were being ushered into the bottom of the stadium for protection from the lightning that had plagued the game for the fourth time now.


Kind Rat was done with this ridiculous routine. “This is the fourth time we’ve been sent down here. We need to apparently pause the whole football game and send everyone under here to wait until the lightning goes away, with no way of knowing if we’re actually going to get to perform or not.” He gulped in a quick breath before inquiring, ”Do you know how badly I wanted to perform?” He looked at his friend for a moment before the grand finale of this venting session.


“And to think just a few minutes ago we thought we were going down to perform. If we’re going to go up and down like this, we might as well go home!” he complained.

After some time, the rain and lightning subsided so that they could go back into the stands. “Ya know, with the way this game has gone up and down in the past few hours, I wouldn’t be surprised if a purple cow came out of no where and started talking to me. It wouldn’t be anymore shocking than all this nonsense that we’ve done just to try to finish this game!”


“What?” Kind Rat’s fellow band member turned to look at him in confusion.


“I said, ‘PURPLE COW!” Kind Rat shouted into his friend’s ear over the noise of the crowd.


“You never know what’s going to happen next, so I’m going to start calling frustrating sequences of events like this ‘Purple Cow’ because it wouldn’t be any more surprising if a purple cow showed up wearing a turquoise jumpsuit. I mean really, This is it. I’m up to here.” He gestured to the top of his head.


“That’s all I’ve got to say about this.” He bit his lip and shook his head in disappointment. As if on cue, the rain sprinkled down from above and everyone could hear distant thunder yet again.


Kind Rat looked up at the rain as it splashed onto his face. He murmured, “This would be a perfect moment that I wish I could say ‘Keep looking up!’ as usual, but during this particular time, I think it would be most appropriate to reaffirm my previous claim.”


His friend glanced up at the falling rain and gave Kind Rat a knowing look. “Purple cow?” he asked.


“Yep, you got it.” Kind Rat confirmed.


“Purple cow.”


Kindra Thomas




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